Good christ.

My buddy Jenny sent me this picture after I sent her a series of pictures from not-too-long-ago. This, I guess, is old school. When I saw the picture, after I dried my tears, I wondered, “what could I tell this kid?”

If I could give this goofy looking motherfucker one bit of advice, I would tell him that, “It’s all going to work out.” I wouldn’t warn him away from any of the mistakes–even the colossal ones–nor would I say anything about how quickly things would change for him. I could try and tell him to “get more organized” but he’s a smug bastard who’d just flip me the bird.

In short, I wouldn’t tell him to change. I’d just remind him that he’d manage to work everything out in the end.

Speaking of work, I am behind 4k word on Nano right now. That catch up begins after class…



When my dad had his wake, out of respect for his terribad taste in music, we played Jimmy Buffet, “Cheese Burger in Paradise.” I also made sure that “In Heaven there is No Beer” was just as loud. My mom didn’t get a song. I don’t think anyone could think of one for her.

I’m not sure if I’m going to include a wake scene in my Nano project. I don’t think I will. I am planning on tying in chemo treatments–and those are far more painful than a wake.

Personally, at my wake, I would prefer that no one sings “Danny Boy.” I would hope that there is some sort of drunk karaoke in my honor–maybe a rousing rendition of “Since U Been Gone” to guide me to oblivion or the afterlife.

The Spread

For the past year, I’ve spent (damn near) every Wednesday night at Sid’s, keeping Shannon company (and doing small bar tasks). Last night, the first Wednesday of my post Sid’s life, I was at The Spread, a bar on Chicago’s Northside, playing bar trivia. It was cheat night–and believe me, we took full advantage of it.

Our team was Thunderbolt Mindbender, Featuring Satan’s Balls. My younger cousin and his friend Tony are typically on the team; however last night, they arrived just in time to be carded. I believe they can actually get into the bar during a DePaul game…but I’m not entirely sure.

We came in fourth place–all the scores were within 3 points–which was due to stupid mistakes made by all the team members. For instance, being the geek at the table, I should have been able to divine “Star Trek” from the Long Winded Euphemism round. I didn’t. I also didn’t read Hugh Hefner’s bio as closely as I should have. Then again, we also screwed up when we looked up Riot (not paintball gear, but Kayak’s) and when we lost our Sudden Death Challenge because we were too busy rewriting what we had scratched out earlier.

Our trivia moderator bought us a round of shots at the end of the night-a consolation prize for having the right answer and turning it in first in the Sudden Death challenge-and he was pretty fair. He allowed for challenges to his answers, which I appreciate. He was also willing to buy shots to appease his audience–another thing I appreciate.

What I do not like about Trivia night, and this is rather assholish of me, are the high population of Cobaggus Americanus. One individual in particular, a stunning example of the Blue Breasted, Red Capped American Cobag, actually said to the crowd while discussing an answer, “I’ll stand up here man. I got your back. I’ve got red hair and I don’t care! I need $1200 in my pocket!” He also changed his typical mating call from, “Let me buy you a drink, bitch,” to “NERD! NERD! NERD!” when his team lost.

Being scientists, our team called back, “TED DANSON!” The poor thing was confused. It was unethical of us to torment one of these dumb animals… but it sure was hella fun.

Overall score to Trivia Night: One Thumb Up. Less cobags, more cousins, and I’m sure it would have been two thumbs up. Next week, Shannon is supposed to go. I’ll push her to have her own review.