And yet, I only have myself to blame.

Let me be perfectly clear here: I never expected magical change. I expected slow but steady progress. On some fronts, I think we’ve managed that. On other fronts, we haven’t progressed far enough…and on some we’ve backslid.

I never had the “Hopey changey feel” that Sarah Palin dismissed in her pseudo-folksy speak. On my best days, I’m a realist that hopes for the best. On most days, I’m a realist who leans towards cynicism. In my world view, Hope and Change are synonymous with “Drag out slug fest with the CrazyCons.” This is the problem: I don’t think I have the energy for this kind of fight.

Obama inherited a slew of problems. Some stem from Bush, some were created by Clinton and others were created by Bush Sr or Reagan. There are individuals who have made a fuckton of money from these problems–and there are others who do not want to see any significant change in policy as that would diminish their own personal power. I wrote in 2009 that liberals will need to hold Obama accountable and support the White House as they tried to affect serious change.

Since that time, I’ve signed petitions…made maybe one phone call. I was more wrapped up in getting married and going to grad school than I was in politics. Here we are, nearly half way though the first term and I feel more powerless than I did after year six of GWBush’s presidency. And its all my fault. I needed to do more to stay on top of the political game. I need to stand up to the Right Wing Fear Machine. Simply put, I need to do more.

It is difficult to figure out where to start. The entire political system seems like such a mess. I’m going to look for one loose thread–health care, budget matters, civil rights,immigration, ‘civil discourse’–and pull on it until I’m satisfied that I can do my part for the liberal agenda.