This is Post #297 for those keeping track at home.
1) Why do I have to put up with a guy who offers nothing to my boyfriend, who my boyfriend thinks is his friend and a good person (He’s not!)? Shouldn’t I be allowed to not be bothered by their BS or get a veto point on five friends over the course of his life?
2) How long should a couple date before it’s time to bail because there is no ring coming forward?
1) You don’t have to put up with the guy. You shouldn’t have to be bothered by his BS; however, he is your boyfriend’s friend. Until the boy either 1) comes around or 2) the Other Guy wises up and treats AG the way she should be treated, I don’t advise trying to put a wedge in between them. Veto points can be that very wedge.
There is a lot more i would need to know to give the most accurate advice I could. What’s the issue with The Other Guy? Is he a dick to AG? Is he stupid? Does he just not click with you? What is the relationship with The Boy and The Other Guy? Are they friends, best friends, herto-life-partners or just a little bit in love with each other? What does the Boy say about him?
I have been in the situation wherein my SO (Canuk) tried to keep me away from a few of my friends. AG is no Canuk–however one should be very careful of using Canukian methods to reach their goals. AG is much better than that.
Out of respect for The Boy, the Other Guy should be super nice to you. In return, you should tolerate the Other guy. This doesn’t mean go to his house or attend his parties. It means if he was on fire, you should call the fire dept. If he was hungry, you should point him towards a McDonalds.
More deets, more answers.
2) When a couple starts talking about marriage, the clock is officially running. That talk shouldn’t honestly occur until both people are reasonably certain that they’re ready. Sometimes booze does the talking sooner that you’d like. Sometimes its simply grief or loss. I’m familiar with the latter, not the former. Make sure you talk about it when you’re ready.
Anyway, If there are non concrete plans in place within a year of the initial talk, its time to say, “Hey, we were talking of marriage. Where are we?” Discuss what is BS and what is honest to god fear. Then go ring shopping. I am aware that the Ring should reflect the taste of the bride; however, help the boy figure out the perfect ring. Another bit of advice: I would say up to 1 year after ring shopping together is a good mark for a “state of the relationship talk,” wherein you reestablish the timeline.
Carlos asks: Is that OPB doing the robot that I see?
Yes. I think I’ve redefined it as the Rusty Tin-man.
Jess asked: Did you wear sunglasses at night?
No, I left them in my car.
Lewis asked, So Crockett, where’s Tubbs?
He was in the Delorean
If I missed any questions, repost them here and I will answer them TODAY!