Ask A Bastard: Fabricated Edition


Another Monday, another series of (fabricated) questions.

Friend and WoW Blogger Anna asks, “What is the greatest cover song of all time?”

Funny, I was just thinking of this question, given the new album, War Child Heroes. This is an album of war protest songs,wherein the original artists hand select the band to do the cover. If you watched the Oscars last night, you would have heard Beck‘s cover of Leopard-Skin Pill-Box hat, originally by Dylan. This is an album I think I need to pick up.

My favorite cover is still Since U Been Gone by Ted Leo. I love the original but I can rock out to the cover 24/7.

Nathan Godfrey, from Shapes without Substance, asks, “Which is better: Sherbert, sorbet, ice cream or frozen yogurt?”

Personally, I’d go with a Tiramisu Gelato. However, since I don’t live in Atlanta, I’d have to go with Cherry Garcia ICE CREAM from Ben & Jerry’s. It’s wonderful.

Tune in next week when I answer of the questions you never thought to ask.

Call in Andrew Bird for Science!

I heard this story from NPR, but Short Sharp Science – New Scientist has a video..

This is Bonnie, and she is very gifted. According to the Great Ape Trust, the 30-year-old orangutan recently started imitating a caretaker’s whistling.

On Morning Edition, neither Ari Shapiro nor Erin Stromberg, Bonnie’s handler, could whistle very well.  This, of course, means we need to tap a fantastic whistler.

Enter Andrew Bird.  He can help determine if Orangutan’s can whistle melodies.  I think we all want to see Bonnie whistle the parts of Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left.


As a kid I had to have a separate humidifier in my bedroom. The thinking at the time was this: The frequent asthma and respiratory problems, allergies and weird side effects from the asthma and allergy meds meant I needed the extra humidity. My little humidifier was a boring, white plastic one. I remember it had to be cleaned regularly, and that I wasn’t supposed to play with it. Yesterday, at Target, we purchased the adult version of the same boring humidifier. This one had additional allergen fighters and some sort of “Baking Soda” filter that is supposed to cut down on funky odors. We could have gotten one of these–img_0367

If you can’t see them, these are children’s humidifiers. A penguin, a dragon or an elephant. There was also a froggie, but it wasn’t on the official display. They didn’t have the special filters that the adult one had, but they were in the shape of cheerful figures with movable parts. That’s right. The beaks, snouts and trunks MOVED. The tank sizes were identical. I believe they’re all dishwasher safe. What’s not to love?

We went with the adult one. Adult contemporary fits the decor of the (now ready to sell) condo. The kid’s humidifiers just doesn’t work.

Being an adult doesn’t mean you can buy what you want. It means being responsible with cash and accessories. There are benefits to being an adult–the easy of buying booze, working, setting your own priorities–but sometimes being a kid is more appealing.

The humidifier is not a big deal. It just represents what I want: Less adult responsibilities. I will not, however, trade my adult freedoms away for less responsibilities.

What I will do is wait until we sell the place. Then, in the nerd room, I’ll put up my own humidifier. Next winter, that elephant humidifier is mine.

Nope. Didn’t work

Paula Cole is still in my head. The Bugle, The Boss and Slate have done nothing form the, “yippie aye, yippie A!” that is echoing in my head. My reset song–all of them, really–is not working. I refuse to follow the standard practice of buying the song as well. I do not want this song in my head anymore. I believe it is beginning to impact my work. Seriously. I’m too busy trying to get the damn thing out of my head to finish typing up my next few case closings.

Help me out. Tell me about your reset songs!

And I care because

Years ago my brother and I went to an ensemble show at the Abbey Pub. I think it was called the, “women who rock” series. One of the minor acts (Panda Panda) asked us, “is anyone eating out there?”. Some one shouted back, “the cheeseburgers rule!” which made the frontwoman stop and say with a sneer, “I just think it’s funny that someone would eat meat at a Panda Panda show,” the guitar and drum duo then went on to perform entirely forgettable set. I don’t think they got more than polite applause after each song. Even the vegetarians were underwhelmed.

The comment remains burned into my memory mostly as a warning: don’t be snarky unless you can back it up. Most People at the show didn’t come for Panda panda. I doubt a quarter of the crowd new that Panda Panda were vegatarian or vegan. The headliners were The New Pornographers and Mates of State (who, by the way, rocked). Panda Panda’s content was, at best, filler. They didn’t have a single stand out moment outside of their snarky dismissial of someone’s dinner.

I realize that I’m, at best, contributing to the filler of the Internet. I do try to back up my snark with decent content-and I do think I have a few good posts-yet I also realize that posting sparse chip review doesn’t help my position out. I hope to step up my game shortly.