Ask A Bastard One: Beatings

Four regular readers submitted four interesting questions. This his how a bastard answers.

Shannon asked: “Why do you beat me?”
Dear Shannon,

Let me direct you to the above link. This “fabricated” picture is a case of your well-documented temper. I have seen this face when I have played WoW for too long or I didn’t have dinner ready in time. The fact is, you beat me. But, most readers of this blog will agree that you are wonderful and I have the beat downs coming.

Question Two was submitted by Will: “Why don’t you beat me?”

The bastard answers:

Dear Will,

Back in college, when you would jump on my back, I would accidentally end up hurting you by throwing you onto the floor. One could argue that back then, I did beat you.

These days, I don’t beat you because you are too damn good at Halo. I counter with this question: Why do you like beating me?

Question Three was Submitted by VON: How do I meet a man (who will beat me)?

Dear Von:
Please keep reading my blog.

Question Four (and the answer to question three) was submitted by Chuckles: “Where does a man go to beat a person, when said man gets tired of beating himself?”

Charles, VON. VON, Charles. Let the spiral of abuse begin!

Email me or leave a comment for next weeks’ installment of Ask a Bastard.

8 thoughts on “Ask A Bastard One: Beatings

  1. Done and done. Last night, I beat you mercilessly with a bar of soap stuffed in a sock. I only hit you in the abdomen. I left no mark and you remember nothing.

  2. Question for next week: Why do people get sick more often when the weather changes? Or is it just me. I have to go cough up a lung now.

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