Ask a Bastard: Late Late Edition

I hope everyone enjoyed whatever weekend they had. Now, onto life’s big questions!

MenD asks:
1) As a trainee pretentious bastard, what should I be drinking in public to cultivate my image? Obscure microbrews? Anti-anti-anti-ironic “lite” beers? Mongolian barleywine?

To be truly pretentious, one needs the appropriate beverage. However, keep in mind that one can be pretentious on the cheap. As wonderful as it would be to drink Mongolian Barleywine (a friend in Boston calls that Sam Adams), it might break your bank. Therefore, I would stick with Microbrews. Microbrews are fantastic for local economies and your image. Find one you can enjoy and find a bunch you want to try in front of people you can impress.

Lite beers are for private times such as deep cleanings, the shower or just before bed.

2) I am seriously considering a pilgrimage to the Dogfish Head brewery in Delaware in the next couple of years. You in?

Hell. Yes.

Kristin asks: Why do directors,writers,producer etc., INSIST on remaking horror movies and/or classic 80’s movies?

Are they lazy or just have no imagination?

People have been remaking stories forever (Pygmalion for instance), but this recent crop of 80s relaunches (I’m thinking of the new Friday 13 and the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street) are particularly onerous given how the just seem to be so fucking terrible.

I believe the following: They’re out of money, they want to make more money, they’re lazy and they have no imagination.

Now I do think it is possible to update or reimage something from a previous era into something contemporary and fucking brilliant (see BSG). But that takes work, imagination and willingness to say “this aspect of the old series worked but how can it exist today?” Studio’s don’t want that. Studios want Big Bangs for Small Bucks. They already own the rights to the old versions, so it is cheaper to relaunch things this way.

Shannon wants to know: Who has the best blog out today??

This is. One of the authors is brilliant and hot.

That’s all for this week! Tune in next week when I get critiqued by my cousin for commenting on Dylan’s voice!

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