One Pretentious Bastard

Entries from June 2008

Ask A Bastard: Wednesday and Wheezing Edition

June 25, 2008 · 16 Comments

Aab2-1

I can’t breathe today. Still, I will answer the pressing questions of the day.

VON asks: Why do I hate/abhor/detest female singers?

Maybe it is because the female singers they are pushing these days are not singers so much as they are “entertainers.” It is the objectification of women that you hate, not the female singers.

New-Dad Brando asks: What question would you love to ask but NOT want to know the answer to?

There are very few things in this world that I would not want to know. However, I think the one question I would love to ask but not want the answer to is, “why Hootie?”


Deb asks: Why am I considering moving to an area I don’t really like to make my spouse happy?

I will now bullet point the reasons:

•You are a swell person and will do things to make others happy.

•The places you are thinking about living may not be as bad as you think.

•Your husband rules and he should be happy.

•You maybe more done with Portland than you think.


Aerin asks, “why do friends plan gatherings for the same day? How do you decide which party to go to?”

Because of groups of friends only have one friend in common–you–which leads to massive amounts of problems. Add to this mix the obligatory family holidays and you find yourself driving hours at a time for the same party over and over and over again.

Friend’s don’t do it maliciously; however, sometimes they do it without thinking of others. But that is a different question.

You chose by going to the get-to-gether that you prefer to go to IF you can only do one. We try to spend a little time at each party before retiring. This takes more work, but it often greatly appreciated.

If you really would prefer to go to both parties equally, go to the one that would appreciate you kids more. If, again, they both really want to see your kids, see the people you see less often. Share the love.

The always clever AG asks a number of questions:

First: How do I remove ketchup from a white t-shirt I have already washed and the stain did not come out?
Dry Cleaners.

Second: I also want to know what to look for in a gay bar?
The dance floor. If there is no one dancing, move on. If there is dancing, stay. If there is Erasure, drink mojitos and dance till the sabbath.

Always check Yelp.

If you’re coming to Chicago, I recommend a pub crawl up and around Broadway, north of Belmont.

Most importantly, What does it mean when a guy you like asks if he can join you next week at your synagogue services? He quantifies it with “This may sound weird”.

It means he likes you and he is looking into (first hand) your ideas of faith. This can be a normal date–albeit a bit unusual for a lapsed catholic (at no point have I had a thought about going to Shannon’s church)–but it sounds to me like this is a Very Important Date. This kind of date is equivalent to meeting the core group of friends or meeting the parents.

It is also a damn good sign.

Now I am going to do another round of inhalers. Leave more questions–but next week, I won’t be answering until Tuesday Afternoon. I’ll be chilling with VON and Shannon on Monday in Michigan.

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Categories: Ask a Bastard

ask a bastard: iPhone edition

June 23, 2008 · 6 Comments

on vacation. Back on Wednesday.

Categories: Ramblings

UnAmerican

June 18, 2008 · 7 Comments

‘May equality live long and prosper’ - Takai, New Yorkers among Ca. gay rush:

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Star Trek’s George Takei plunked down $70 for the first same-sex marriage license issued in this gay mecca Tuesday and turned to the crowd, beaming.

If you don’t think Sulu has the right to marry, you’re pushing towards unAmerican.

I’m not labeling this politics because who you marry has no business in politics.

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Categories: Cat Vacuuming

Ask A Bastard: Dinner Edition (UPDATE!)

June 16, 2008 · 18 Comments

Aab2-1

Not a week for questions I guess.

Aerin asks:

question(s) for next week - a good restaurant to recommend, close to downtown? I’ve been out of the area so long that I can’t think of anything good to recommend to a friend.

This depends on what your friend want to eat. Personally, near the down town area, I would hit:

Topolobampo

Gimme an idea of what folks want to eat and their budget, and we can have a list to you in 3 hours.

Also, check out Metromix first and Yelp second. Metromix can give you an overview, while Yelp can give you specific accounts from non-revieiwers.

ALSO - what do you think of the Chicago sports teams (specifically baseball?) What did your parents think of them?

I am a Bears fan–the rest of the sports teams I don’t care that much about.

My dad followed all sports, but, he was a Soxs fan and a die-hard Bears fan. My mom was a sports fan insomuch as my dad introduced them to her. She was a cubs fan before she met my dad, and she never changed allegiances.

VON asked, “Why do crickets chirp?”

Elementary my dear VON. The Chirp is the insect equivalent of Marvin Gaye, Al Green and Barry White–smooth mating calls.

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Categories: Ask a Bastard · Food and Drink

Science Friday Archives: Prochlorococcus

June 15, 2008 · 5 Comments

Science Friday Archives: Prochlorococcus:


Just over twenty years ago, researchers discovered a photosynthetic marine microorganism now known as Prochlorococcus. Though each individual organism is very small, only 0.6 µm, it turns out that Prochlorococcus is one of the most abundant organisms on the planet — a single milliliter of water can contain 100,000 cells or more. It also has a big effect on the rest of the world, as this one organism is thought to account for as much as half of the photosynthesis in the oceans. In this segment, guest host Joe Palca talks with Penny Chisholm, a biologist at MIT who first reported the discovery of the tiny organism…

Here is my question for the scientists out there:

I learned way back in High School biology (and in late night dorm discussions) that there was a theory that Chloroplasts, the organelles (cell parts) that are responsible for photosynthesis, may have been co-opted by early plants. Is there a similarity between Prochlorococcus and chloroplasts?

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Categories: Nerd Stuff

What are they good for?

June 13, 2008 · 6 Comments

I have a twitter account–I don’t use it much.

I’ve seen references to tumblr–I have no idea what it is.

I’m about a step and a half behind the cool kids. So, cool kids, tell about these (and other new) services. What’s the point of using them?

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Categories: Nerd Stuff · Nerdy Stuff

I don’t think he gets Habeas Corpus

June 13, 2008 · No Comments

Courtsey ofFaux News:

Now we are now going to have the courts flooded with so-called … habeas corpus suits against the government, whether it be about the diet, whether it be about the reading material. And we are going to be bollixed up in a way that is terribly unfortunate because we need to go ahead and adjudicate these cases,” [McCain] said at a town hall meeting in New Jersey.

The Great Writ is not about diets, reading material or religious protections. Habeas corpus is about having the government, ” produce a prisoner they are holding and to legally justify his or her confinement.”

According to the Geneva Conventions, it is the responsibility of the occupying to create a fair tribunal to determine a prisoner of war’s status. Even the international treaties recognize Habeas Corpus.

I know McCain is a self-admitted techno-dolt; however, he should really learn how to use Google. That way, he would have some inkling as to how a western legal system works. Or is being completely subservient to Bush’s ideas on the War on Terror the way to be named a maverick?

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Categories: Politics

Turlet?

June 13, 2008 · No Comments

Courtesy of:FLUXBLOG: Our Last Summer As Indies:


Ted Leo and the Pharmacists “The World Is In The Terlet” - This song was written and recorded on the June 3, 2008 episode of the Best Show on WFMU. Basically, Tom and a few of his listeners came up with the lyrics, and Ted Leo and the Pharmacists put it all together and recorded it before the end of the show. It ought to be a fun curiosity, but it actually might be one of Leo’s best tunes. The song is essentially a string of punk cliches with lyrics about some sort of hipster apocalypse, but it all snaps together so nicely that it’s like hearing all the old tricks for the very first time, especially when the songs collapses into a racket after Leo announces that “the western world will perish in fifteen years!”

I missed out on Ted’s last appearance in Chicago, so I am desperate for any new material. I’m not sure that this is one of his best songs–but I’m rocking out to it in the office today.

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Categories: Music

Sid’s Folk: I am so right

June 13, 2008 · 7 Comments

The question at Sid’s has been, “who would play Captain America?” I suggested Matt Damon. Seems I am not the only one.

Casting Leonardo Dicaprio As Captain America Would Be Titanically Wrong [Captain America]:

Matt Damon
Why He Bleeds Red White And Blue: The Bourne Identity has some of the best little hand-to-hand quickie action scenes of today’s action movies. He’s proven he can be tough and carry an action film on his shoulders. Damon would treat this character in a serious manner, but still make it a butt-kicking superhero movie.
Where He Will Fail: I see no down side to this casting. I don’t know, too perfect for the part?

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Categories: Nerd Stuff

Chemex

June 13, 2008 · No Comments

I’ve become a coffee snob. So when I read things like this:

10 Reasons to Choose a Chemex Coffee Brewer :

6. Better Coffee - The simple approach of brewing coffee the Chemex way means better, less adulterated coffee.

and this

The creator of Chemex coffee pot was Peter Schlumbohm, who said, “With the Chemex, even a moron can make good coffee.”

I think, “I can so make a great cup of coffee.”

It turns out that I am a moron. While the entire process is simple, I am used to:

Grinding the beans (Fine grade, not coarse)
Pouring (filtered) water into the Pot I got from Seth
Wetting the Filter
putting the coffee in
and
Waiting for coffee.

Chemex requires a certain level of attention that I may not be able to muster that early in the morning. The first pot I made was too weak. The second was COLD and watered down. The third pot was also too cold.

The fourth pot is good, but I have had better. I still have to figure out the right grind, temp and amount of grounds for the ever elusive pot of coffee. But, hot damn, the thing is pretty.

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Categories: Food and Drink