Four regular readers submitted four interesting questions. This his how a bastard answers.
Shannon asked: “Why do you beat me?”
Dear Shannon,
Let me direct you to the above link. This “fabricated” picture is a case of your well-documented temper. I have seen this face when I have played WoW for too long or I didn’t have dinner ready in time. The fact is, you beat me. But, most readers of this blog will agree that you are wonderful and I have the beat downs coming.
Question Two was submitted by Will: “Why don’t you beat me?”
The bastard answers:
Dear Will,
Back in college, when you would jump on my back, I would accidentally end up hurting you by throwing you onto the floor. One could argue that back then, I did beat you.
These days, I don’t beat you because you are too damn good at Halo. I counter with this question: Why do you like beating me?
Question Three was Submitted by VON: How do I meet a man (who will beat me)?
Dear Von:
Please keep reading my blog.
Question Four (and the answer to question three) was submitted by Chuckles: “Where does a man go to beat a person, when said man gets tired of beating himself?”
Charles, VON. VON, Charles. Let the spiral of abuse begin!
Email me or leave a comment for next weeks’ installment of Ask a Bastard.
March 10th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Gee! Thanks Bastard! Chuck – bring it……
March 11th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Done and done. Last night, I beat you mercilessly with a bar of soap stuffed in a sock. I only hit you in the abdomen. I left no mark and you remember nothing.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Thank you. Please, sir, may I have some more?
March 11th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I was gonna ask where I can go to watch people beat other people but I guess I no longer need to.
Is beatings-voyeurism wrong?
March 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
There, TheMarty, a question to be answered next Monday?
March 12th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
You didn’t hurt me. I just wanted attention.
March 13th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Question for next week: Why do people get sick more often when the weather changes? Or is it just me. I have to go cough up a lung now.
March 14th, 2008 at 7:47 am
Why do I always lurk without leaving comments?