Mall Ninja

Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines:

But then again I think of the mayors nephew, his face distored with tears and terror, the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity’s signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot, the target practice with my dearest comrades and friends, the members of my teams, and our live fire exercises-Can I leave it all behind? should I?

I spent my pre-caffinated Sunday morning reading this priceless gem from the internet. I got it from this priceless gem of the internet. It reminded me of this story–

Way back in 1994, my college friends and I went to the Beloit Mall for the first time. Two of my friends, one who had already had a tango with the police for blowing a red light, ran into the center of a mural and pretended to play in a fountain. I think we all began to jump around and act our age.

Mall security came and started yelling at us. One rail thin mall-ninja yelled at me. “Come here right now!” I responded simply, “Fuck no” and walked away.

If I had known that he could have been a special forces ninja, I think I might I have just said no.

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About officergleason

"Marty Gleason is a liberal-arts-educated bleeding heart that lives and works in Chicago." He's a nerd who enjoys nerdy things. Sometimes, he's even proud of it. --edit by Will Hindmarch View all posts by officergleason

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