monkey clapping is a crowd pleaser…

Some days, I wake up and have a complete intellectual break down. Typically the days I oversleep, like today, are the worst for my brains. In college, the worst example of this was in my social psych class. I went to sleep at 7, woke up for class at 10, and by the time I got to class, I forgot everything I had ever learned about social psych. I couldn’t give an operational definition for attitudes, I had no idea what cognitive dissonance was and I couldn’t even remember false consensus theory. In short, I was dumber than usual.

The upside to this was I remembered every single lyric by They Might Be Giants. I knewt every song from every album between 1988-1995. I told my classmates this, who didn’t believe me, until I started singing Spy, Kiss me Son of God and some other obscure song, before our professor walked in. By the end of class, I believe I could remember some basic psych concepts.

Today I’m having the same problem. I don’t know anything about working with kids. I do remember, however, that Monkey’s cannot clap like people due to differences in bone and muscle structure. All I can do today is clap like a monkey. I demo’d this ability in Boston, and thankfully, there are no pictures of it. If there were I would be morally obligated to share said pictures.

While clapping like a monkey is usually is a crowd pleaser, I don’t think it is appropriate for the court building. I think its too high-brow for some of my coworkers.

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About officergleason

"Marty Gleason is a liberal-arts-educated bleeding heart that lives and works in Chicago." He's a nerd who enjoys nerdy things. Sometimes, he's even proud of it. --edit by Will Hindmarch View all posts by officergleason

5 Responses to “monkey clapping is a crowd pleaser…”

  • Shannon

    What other party tricks can you do?

  • officergleason

    Lemme see…

    I Eat Gross things for a dollar.

    3 Carbombs and I’ll karaoke.

    There’s more, but for the life of me, I can’t think of it. I’m sure someone will remind me, in embarrassing detail, on the party tricks I have mastered.

  • officergleason

    OH! I fall asleep in parking lots after drinking a rum keg. I will do whatever I can to sleep–including running away from my brother, wrestling out of his grip when he catches me and lie about my need to, um, purge, just so I can lay down.

  • officergleason

    I know! It’s just like my Mom used to say as she walked me to short yellow bus to school, “marty, you are impressive and special.”

    this comment seemed funnier when I was writing it on my phone at lunch.

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